RPDR Season 9, Episode 5: “To Heal” The Musical

Posted on 21 April 2017

**DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do NOT reflect those of DragQueenMerch.com**

Todrick Hall is guest judging AND we get a mini challenge?!?! WHAT AN EPISODE!

In all seriousness, this was the funniest episode of the season thus far, by far.

It’s about time Drag Race gave the Kardashians the homage they deserve. Especially in a season so filled with notorious social media queens, it only makes sense.

The only sin is that the producers sent Kimora Blac home knowing this episode was coming up.

As winner of the mini challenge, Alexis got the privilege of casting Kardashian: The Musical (anyone else notice how the episode is called “Reality Stars: The Musical”? Lol). Personally, I thought her casting was fair, and THANK GOD, because the show would’ve been SO disappointing had it not been properly casted. I had a laugh watching Valentina and Farrah mess up clapping in rehearsal as Kendall and Kylie (which was so accidentally in character). Fave quote of the episode was Farrah saying “I was never a clapper.”

After ten seasons of Childhood Trauma Time, Makeup Time has officially turned to Social Justice Time. Which is a change I’m down for, especially considering that the show’s now on a semi-major network with a wider audience. It’s necessary.

I wish I could talk about this main challenge, but it honestly left me speechless. My jaw DROPPED as soon as they threw it way back to “Les Deux”. Fave line? Kris saying “I’ll film you eating salad.”

Faux fur runway. Can we take a moment to appreciate how FLAWLESS all of Cynthia’s runways have been this season?! On a similar note, Aja’s looks have been getting stronger with each episode.

 

TOP THREE

Peppermint: As Britney Spears, she made the best of a bad casting situation.

Alexis Michelle: As Kris Jenner, she KILLED IT! In my humble onion, she should have won the whole episode.

Shea Couleé: As Blac Chyna, she ALSO killed it.

 

BOTTOM THREE

Cynthia Lee Fontaine: As Kim... Okay, she didn’t know the words. She still carried the show somehow, on stage presence alone.

Nina Bo’nina Brown: As Kholé... Okay, she didn’t get the part she wanted...sorry. Really, she could have killed it. Doesn’t deserve to stay based on performance, but deserves to stay. So Thank God.

Farrah Moan: As Kylie... Okay, she didn’t do anything. Does Kylie do anything?

 

THAT LIP-SYNC

Listen, henny... I have a thing. I’m not a fan of queens stripping in lip-syncs. Tearaways are iconic, but not when it’s a tearaway to only lingerie. And, in Cynthia’s case, not even to pretty lingerie. Sorry.

 

THAT ELIMINATION

In typical Farrah fashion, “I am so confused.” Bitch. Me too. Also I love you.

Eureka has been set free. “To Heal.”

TO HEAL.

TO HEAL.

TO HEAL.

Not gonna lie, I died laughing out of sheer “WTF IS THIS SHOW?!”

Quotes from my sister:

“This is the most shadiest elimination ever.”

“WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?”

“I think they just wanted a reason to keep CuCu even though she did bad.”

 

So yeah, I spent this entire episode gasping and laughing. I’m gonna go drink water now.

Goodnight Bitches.

~ Liv “Queen” Moody

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